Augustus, Veruca, Violet , Mike were all indulged in over consumption....Are your children?

Amongst all of my little oddities, you may not be too surprised to discover that I’m a bit of a voyeur …… *gasp*

Yes, I’m have a natural inclination to perv at people.

It does have its pitfalls…. I have developed a real loathing for “not so pleasant” character traits in some folk, and I guess this leads me to be slightly judgmental from time to time.

This morning, opting to take some time out for myself, I have chosen to head to Coffee Culture at Riccarton, while my three sons enjoy some time out from me and a movie at the theatre, to celebrate Tim’s (my eldest) 13th birthday.

I’ve found a wonderful little perch, just big enough for my 5 pps trim flat white bowl, and my lap top (wifi being topped up as needed).

Looking around me, I can see all sorts of people, the couple that had a hard night, that seem to be “getting to know each other”, the occasional, “oh shit what was his name?”, painful and strained, trying to recall look, coupled with the twirling hair flirty, “gosh who cares what his name is look!”

What has really caught my attention this morning though is the small family who entered and sat across from me at one of the cozy little booth seats. The children both rather … plump…walking in with bike helmets in hand, it had promise…the thought of them being out and about getting some exercise. But the demands that soon screeched out of their youthful mouths, swiftly squashed that notion.

“I WANT my usual, Mummy, get me my usual” came from the young daughters mouth, the sense of urgent demand that came across surprised me. Her brother jumping into the booth, eager expression on his face for what was about to follow.

I can only estimate their ages, based on my own children and their grasp of English language and aesthetic.

The girl would have been no older than 11, but her large double chin and premature development would have her looking a tad older than her years.

Recognising her mothers face I was interested in what was to follow.

Mum sat down with a nice big glass of water, while her daughter impatiently tapped on the table waiting what was owed to her.

Out came the order…a large iced chocolate, with a mountain of cream and ice cream and chocolate syrup, a large chocolate muffin, topped with chocolate and accompanied with butter. PHWAOR! That was some morning tea.

The brother treated to equal pleasure, they both tucked in to their “meal”

One of my well developed loathing is lack of eating etiquette, maybe something that as an overeater in the past, I am more aware of in my adulthood, and even more so the pained recollection of my childhood years and the smacked arse that was adorned me if I dared to eat in a sloppy and piggy way.

Both children crammed their mouths full, chomping with mouths wide open, crumbs falling all over their clothing, talking all the while.

Truth be told, if that was my children they would be out that door so fast!
(Obviously though we all have different priorities and schools of thought on what is acceptable and what is not….yes I can accept that…)

It dawned on me where I recognized Mum from…..some where I have been visiting to keep my health and well being (and weight) on the right pathway for many years.

MMM, pretty sure I don’t need to spell it out ….

It got me thinking, about the flow on effect as parents who have taken steps to reeducate ourselves about healthy living, portion sizing, nutrients, and about treating our bodies more respectfully.

As a mother it’s important to me that my children recognize that it’s okay to have tasty indulgences from time to time, certainly a double chocolate muffin is not the devil, and like wise neither is an iced chocolate.

Though to eat these things as a demanded right, and to devour them without taking the time to really appreciate them for their flavours/textures/enjoyment, to me is something that practices against everything I have learned.

It’s hard to share my opinion without causing offence to those that may read this, but I guess at this juncture in this epic(ally long) sharing, it’s a little late for that.

Having heard this mother talk in desperation about the difficulties she has had with her weight management journey, and her families, suggested sabotage…

Seeing the look of deprivation, while she watched her daughter feast, on sugar laden foods that she purchased, I’m now struggling to feel sympathy.

In this act of loving and nurturing her children through indulgent food, is she not teaching her children the very same habits and “sabotage” that she has been trying to escape herself?

If I could see the look of longing on her face for a taste of that muffin, surely, so too could her children sense that….

Does this not teach them, that if they were to choose something less indulgent that they would also feel deprived?

As an individual, when I come to a coffee shop, now with my new “tool kit” of learning, I now make choices in food, that I know will be tasty, and fresh (that is generally not a muffin that they need to heat to take the stale edge off it either), the choice falls in theme with the fuel my body needs to keep energy levels up and lethargy down….so surely as a parent, it’s my responsibility to do the same thing for my children.

Spending time with our children, doesn’t mean that we have to eat. I’ve long associated spending time with people as being partnered with having to eat (family gatherings when I was younger, were only ever present if there was food involved), and it’s taken me many years to begin to remodel that belief and mindset….It is okay to sit down in a café and enjoy a single beverage and not have to shove food in my mouth that I wasn’t actually needing.

I really hope that I’ve been able to teach, a little slice of this to my children…. I really do.

Surely I can’t be alone in thinking some of these things from time to time…..can I?

Good Vibrations

Old broken things must be torn down, in order to make way for the new!

It is said that there is a silver lining in most situations, and I'm sure for many of us living in post quake Canterbury, that silver lining has been hidden behind a cloak of pain and mourning.

As we see many parts of our beloved city and communities being torn down and carted away, it's difficult not to reflect upon the things that have been lost.

Clearly the structures and iconic places in our city are unsafe, and no longer serve to connect our people, so the reality is that these must be replaced, with new foundations, new memories and actions that see us rebuild, and live as a stronger, more connected people.

As a Weight Watchers leader, this is such a situation that leads me to reflect back
to my own weight loss journey.

HUH? How is this related to a major natural disaster?

Well let's face it, at 124kg I was a walking, talking, natural disaster!

Only mother nature didn't create me, I created me, through old structured behaviours, and foundations that were not serving to connect me with good health, and a long, vital, happy, lifetime.

In order to create a new life, I had to bring in the demolition crew, to smash down the old habits that got me to where I was. There was certainly a period of mourning, of feeling like I was missing out, and a sense of deprivation. There were moments of anger and frustration, of blaming all external influences (yes, sometimes people), and at times, when my week didn't pan out exactly as planned where I felt that the silver lining was a lousy crock and totally unattainable.

Making change is never easy, whether it be forced, like powerful earthquakes, pushing us towards a brighter future, or by choice, like the decision to make a better life, by working towards a healthy body.

The silver lining is in the learning, it's certainly not how we fall down, it's all about how we get back up, and how we find that forward momentum to make the fall all the more worth it.

It's easier to look back at what we no longer have, the easy road! And it's easier to hinder ourselves, by making our goals unattainable.

This week I'm challenged to continue to change my thinking, to keep focus on what will be, not what was.

I was faced with a statement in one of my meetings last night, that I had already traveled the road to success, and may no longer relate to the struggles of weight loss and the changes that are a necessary tool for that; This kind of surprised me, and perhaps I need to make a point in the future, this journey is not just about building a new life, it's about continually refurnishing it, to keep things fresh and new, it's an ongoing project to maintain my weight loss, and it's not something that I will ever be able to cease. I choose a healthier lifestyle, and as with all things in life, it takes constant learning, and practice to keep things in order.

I finish my blog today, by thanking the lady at Dodds Pharmacy for indulging my questions about the demo work in Merivale, and for her insightful comment about pulling down old structures and by quoting a phrase I heard at a Weight Watchers meeting last weekend....

"If you always do, what you've always done, you'll always get, what you've always got"

<3

Success is ...... ?

success  (səkˈsɛs)
— n
1.	the favourable outcome of something attempted
2.	the attainment of wealth, fame, etc
3.	an action, performance, etc, that is characterized by success
4.	a person or thing that is successful

I love the first meaning given on dictionary.com for the word success. It's something many of the men and women at my Weight Watcher's meetings strive for, on most days, and in most weigh ins.

Success it seems holds a very different meaning for many people.

I've witnessed a lot of my members recently, outwardly feeling let down and expressing disappointment in their weekly achievements.

Statements passing the lips like "I so don't deserve this", "I tried so hard this week, I thought it would be more" "Oh I'm just disappointed it's not more"

I love that my members feel comfortable and safe to share their frustration. But I wish so very much that there was a way to help these lovely people see that every little step forward in the right direction, is a step closer to their ultimate goals.


Every 100 grams loss that has followed a week of following the program isn't a reward for "good behaviour" but the bodies way of releasing energy that is superfluous, and is thanking you for creating a more hospitable environment to function in.

Every 100 grams loss following a week on the program, is a 100 grams closer to making solid habits that will see you through a happy, healthy, LONG and vital lifetime.

5 weeks of 100 gram losses is a whole block of butter!

I currently believe that successes are overshadowed by high expectations, perhaps set so high to save ourselves from facing up to the fact that we may actually achieve something so great and so wonderful as being at a healthy bmi; in a place where we will have to be accountable for what goes in our mouths, and whether we get butt off couch for 30 minutes to get the exercise our body so craves....

Okay, it's becoming clearer now....if we only see the dark side and what we haven't achieved, we'll never ever get to goal....we wont have success, I guess that makes it easier to justify the chocolate cake huh!

And means we wont ever truly fail either, because we've never REALLY let ourselves try.

But being in a constant state of "fat person" limbo isn't right either is it....

So what is success???

To me success is just as the first explanation describes it: The favourable outcome, of something attempted.

It's favourable to me that I live a long, healthy and vital life.

It's favourable to my bank account to not have to replace my wardrobe because I've busted out of my pants.

It's favourable to me that I can go for a run in the park with my children, and not "Mummy is just going to watch, you guys go ahead"

Success for me is being true to myself, no games, no pretense....

Success is getting on the scales and gaining 200 grams, knowing that I did the best I could for me during the week, making healthy decisions that will impact on my long term future.

Success is drinking a bottle of water on a cold and dreary day, because it helps keep my body running efficiently.

and ....

Failure......can only happen, when we stop trying!


Ali xo

From behind the darkness....we have to find "new normal"

It's incredible how time can stand still, rewind, or fast forward and catapult us into the future, within seconds.

I realise that sounds a little ass about face. (Let's be honest, most of what I say sounds like that at times)

Life for me recently has been measured in earthquakes, and Richter Scale.

I can guarantee that I'm not alone, but fleeting thoughts have made it feel that way.

Finally nearly 3 months since the emotional devastation of the February 22nd earthquake, my emotional balance is starting to return....it's not that I went crazy, but the dark clouds that enveloped my thoughts, the sleep deprivation and trying to keep the emotions and confidence of my children and husband up, certainly took it's toll.

I haven't blogged recently, not for lack of plenty to say, but because of an inability to put how lost I was feeling into words.

Since February, I've made a few positive changes, I think that the Earthquake and surrounding events really helped me put a few things in perspective - if I keep dreaming about the things I want to do, and continually put it off for a 'better time' will my dreams and goals ever become the reality I hope for?

I think not.

In my last blog I mentioned having dread extensions put in, what a liberating feeling to finally not give a toss what anyone else thought of my personal style.

I have had my dreads now since March, with a small break of a week when I had them out to tidy up my natural hair.

Dreads look great, but not when they look like I don't wash :P

I've also started a course with Ayla's Burlesque Academy, how fun to learn a new style of performing arts, some reactions have entertained me, with my husband asking if it meant I was going to have relations with other people.

Really, NOT what burlesque is about. (there are OTHER sorts of places that will cater to that)

The way I would describe it is more like the circus without the big top and animals.

It's comedy and theatrics, contortionists, fire dancers, belly dancers, pasties, hula hoops and so much more... slipping into a character and performing outside your normal social boundaries.

It's re invigorated my relationship with my role as a Weight Watcher's leader, especially when I think about how large I became before I had the courage to change.

Now that I am healthy and vital and eating in a way that is good for my body, and makes me feel good, it really is the most essential ingredient to redefining my self esteem and the confidence to entertain people in such an over the top, theatrical way.


I wonder if Sept - Feb and til now have had similar results in others motivations and desire for a better self?

I kind of hope so....don't you?

I know not everyone desires to be a belly dancer, or twirl tassels on their boobs or even to have florescent hair, but sure we all want better for ourselves? Maybe events like major and destructive Earthquakes can create  that desire to do something about it, instead of constantly whinging on about "I wants"


Me xo

Have you ever noticed?

Have you noticed around New Years time, a lot of people will make a list of things that they WONT do anymore?

Ridiculous notions, such as giving up the glorious temptation of chocolate.

Seriously.....why do that?

*eyes up pantry*

I have several to do lists...YUP.....I AM totally one of those painful people who forever wants to try something new!

Recent events have certainly given me a bit of a shake up (pardon the pun) there really are so many things that I have yet to try.

Last year before my 30th, I had made mention of wanting to try a bungee jump,despite having a paralyzing fear of heights!

One of my dear friends bought me the ticket, although not entirely ruled by superstition, the 3 dozen white roses that accompanied it did make me hold off a little.

A short time later, the business operating the jump was shut down due to mishap.

So while my to do right now might not be very daring and adventurous, there really are some personal projects I need to finish up!

For many years I have wanted dreads put in, the synthetic kind.

So this is first up on the list.....I have a good friend in Palmerston North putting these in for me in a couple of weeks. I can't wait to see what it looks like, let's just hope I don't look like a right conk.

I really have put this off for too long, and you know what, I really can't think of a decent reason why!



(Picture courtesy of Amy Layzell, photo taken by Umbra Digital)

Frustration Mounts

Something that I'm finding really difficult to deal with right now is the rubbernecking gloating people.

I can understand and appreciate that NZ is not a large country, and that with 2 degrees of separation we are all connected in some way.

Do people really have to prove their levels of testosterone by fabricating stories of heroism? Or grieving and sorrow?

My house is uninhabitable status updates on facebook for instance, one day before posting photos cooking in the kitchen of the house.

As a city we are all hurting, more often than not for the sheer enormity of the situation, for other peoples hurting and pain. Because in large a lot of us feel helpless. We can not promise our loved ones or neighbours that everything will be okay, when the future for us and the inevitability of another natural disaster that compares is so uncertain.

Tens of thousands of people left Christchurch last week, for fear of what mother nature will do next, some with no home left to speak of, losing loved ones and feeling as though faith in our city was a waste of time. I really feel for these people.

I have a whole different kind of feeling, for those desperate to use the situation to show boat, to be the most worse off, to get praise for false acts of bravery.

Again I do get that we all have different ways of coping, but I just find it utterly disrespectful and hope that eventually these foolish folk grow up at some point, and get honest with themselves, and give the praise and focus to those who deserve and need it.

Not feeling so sublime today....

Everything I've committed to blog to date pales in significance today as I reflect back over the last 8 days.

What has been lost here in Christchurch, the people, the architecture, the City that was.

Most likely too soon to make such a comment, but there is certainly a silver lining in all of this, as communities are driven together, busy parents are on enforced break from work and their day to day hustle and bustle, and regain a little of the day to day bond with their children that is often lacking in our busy society.

People so often taken forgranted now remembered for all their amazing capabilities and giving natures as their bodies are laid to rest. And their families focus on healing their broken hearts.

Good Samaritans giving so selflessly to complete strangers, not for the kudos and recognition, but because it's part of them to look after and nurture those around them.

All races and people walking beside each other, atheists and christians, tall, short, fat, skinny....working together to recover, rebuild and restrengthen our Christchurch.

I've lived in Christchurch for 13 or so years now, and consider this home. I'll be honest, there have certainly been moments in the last week where moving town/country has been in my thoughts. But the reality is I'm not sure I could leave right now, when there is so much to be done, and so many to look after.

I'm proud to have helped on the end of a shovel, at my keyboard and on the phone, and I will continue to do so while I am able to.

My mind is a buzz with thought ... translating this into cohesive sentences is a little tricky it would seem. So I'll sign off for now.

Ali xo