Augustus, Veruca, Violet , Mike were all indulged in over consumption....Are your children?

Amongst all of my little oddities, you may not be too surprised to discover that I’m a bit of a voyeur …… *gasp*

Yes, I’m have a natural inclination to perv at people.

It does have its pitfalls…. I have developed a real loathing for “not so pleasant” character traits in some folk, and I guess this leads me to be slightly judgmental from time to time.

This morning, opting to take some time out for myself, I have chosen to head to Coffee Culture at Riccarton, while my three sons enjoy some time out from me and a movie at the theatre, to celebrate Tim’s (my eldest) 13th birthday.

I’ve found a wonderful little perch, just big enough for my 5 pps trim flat white bowl, and my lap top (wifi being topped up as needed).

Looking around me, I can see all sorts of people, the couple that had a hard night, that seem to be “getting to know each other”, the occasional, “oh shit what was his name?”, painful and strained, trying to recall look, coupled with the twirling hair flirty, “gosh who cares what his name is look!”

What has really caught my attention this morning though is the small family who entered and sat across from me at one of the cozy little booth seats. The children both rather … plump…walking in with bike helmets in hand, it had promise…the thought of them being out and about getting some exercise. But the demands that soon screeched out of their youthful mouths, swiftly squashed that notion.

“I WANT my usual, Mummy, get me my usual” came from the young daughters mouth, the sense of urgent demand that came across surprised me. Her brother jumping into the booth, eager expression on his face for what was about to follow.

I can only estimate their ages, based on my own children and their grasp of English language and aesthetic.

The girl would have been no older than 11, but her large double chin and premature development would have her looking a tad older than her years.

Recognising her mothers face I was interested in what was to follow.

Mum sat down with a nice big glass of water, while her daughter impatiently tapped on the table waiting what was owed to her.

Out came the order…a large iced chocolate, with a mountain of cream and ice cream and chocolate syrup, a large chocolate muffin, topped with chocolate and accompanied with butter. PHWAOR! That was some morning tea.

The brother treated to equal pleasure, they both tucked in to their “meal”

One of my well developed loathing is lack of eating etiquette, maybe something that as an overeater in the past, I am more aware of in my adulthood, and even more so the pained recollection of my childhood years and the smacked arse that was adorned me if I dared to eat in a sloppy and piggy way.

Both children crammed their mouths full, chomping with mouths wide open, crumbs falling all over their clothing, talking all the while.

Truth be told, if that was my children they would be out that door so fast!
(Obviously though we all have different priorities and schools of thought on what is acceptable and what is not….yes I can accept that…)

It dawned on me where I recognized Mum from…..some where I have been visiting to keep my health and well being (and weight) on the right pathway for many years.

MMM, pretty sure I don’t need to spell it out ….

It got me thinking, about the flow on effect as parents who have taken steps to reeducate ourselves about healthy living, portion sizing, nutrients, and about treating our bodies more respectfully.

As a mother it’s important to me that my children recognize that it’s okay to have tasty indulgences from time to time, certainly a double chocolate muffin is not the devil, and like wise neither is an iced chocolate.

Though to eat these things as a demanded right, and to devour them without taking the time to really appreciate them for their flavours/textures/enjoyment, to me is something that practices against everything I have learned.

It’s hard to share my opinion without causing offence to those that may read this, but I guess at this juncture in this epic(ally long) sharing, it’s a little late for that.

Having heard this mother talk in desperation about the difficulties she has had with her weight management journey, and her families, suggested sabotage…

Seeing the look of deprivation, while she watched her daughter feast, on sugar laden foods that she purchased, I’m now struggling to feel sympathy.

In this act of loving and nurturing her children through indulgent food, is she not teaching her children the very same habits and “sabotage” that she has been trying to escape herself?

If I could see the look of longing on her face for a taste of that muffin, surely, so too could her children sense that….

Does this not teach them, that if they were to choose something less indulgent that they would also feel deprived?

As an individual, when I come to a coffee shop, now with my new “tool kit” of learning, I now make choices in food, that I know will be tasty, and fresh (that is generally not a muffin that they need to heat to take the stale edge off it either), the choice falls in theme with the fuel my body needs to keep energy levels up and lethargy down….so surely as a parent, it’s my responsibility to do the same thing for my children.

Spending time with our children, doesn’t mean that we have to eat. I’ve long associated spending time with people as being partnered with having to eat (family gatherings when I was younger, were only ever present if there was food involved), and it’s taken me many years to begin to remodel that belief and mindset….It is okay to sit down in a café and enjoy a single beverage and not have to shove food in my mouth that I wasn’t actually needing.

I really hope that I’ve been able to teach, a little slice of this to my children…. I really do.

Surely I can’t be alone in thinking some of these things from time to time…..can I?