I've never once considered myself a coward, sure, I'm not particular fussed with confrontation, but if the moment calls for it, I'm a pretty tough cookie, and I'm usually totally happy to stand up for what I believe to be just and right.
mmmhmmm, I do think it's official though, despite my delight for mathematics (ok ok my calculator) I'm pretty sure that I'm scared of numbers.
I wonder what that is called?! A numberphob?
and after a quick google search, I wasn't too far off!
Numerophobia!
That's it, that must be it, not at all the knowledge that I often bite off a little more than I can chew, but I'm afraid of numbers.
Or am I?
Todays confessional, and for my very first blog, perhaps not the easiest one to make:
My name is Ali, I'm a Weight Watchers Leader, I nurture and support 100+ men and women on a weekly basis, to strive for a better life, to achieve all they desire, to help them realise their strengths and combat their weaknesses.
It is my firm belief that my members enjoy better and more regular success if they attend and weigh in at a weekly meeting, if not my own, at the closest location to them at the time.
The accountability, support and fellowship gained from such surroundings is unparalled in a journey of such a large emotional investment.
I stopped attending a meeting for myself a few months ago, for various reasons, consolidated now back to mere excuses.
(There really is no good and sound reason for me to have put my health and well being on the back seat.)
It was encouraging to diary note a new meeting, I can attend, as the member I originally started out as. Although I do feel guilty sharing in the meeting now, almost like I'm an intrusion to the group....
I have also been unable to bring myself to step on the scales.
Weighing in at home is no issue for me.
However the thought of weighing now in front of my peers, and members who I have shared my journey with has become a very confrontational event.
Three weeks I have been back to meetings.
And even then I toy with omitting that I couldn't face it today (instead I vacuumed my lounge and caught up on some washing), because it would have been the third week in a row I couldn't bear to get on the scales.
mmm well maybe this is not a issue with numbers after all.
It's certainly a scary feeling to come across a barrier like this, particularly when I know that many people look to me as a source of inspiration and hope for their own success.
My blog creation is to steal back a little of that "me" time I feel I'm missing from having a regular weigh and meeting experience for myself.
To consolidate a few thoughts and emotions.
And to hopefully continue to help others in their journey.
The joy I get to experience every time one of my members shares a success with me, the tears, laughter and heart I get to share in meeting and via email communications back and forward, the praise for my meetings and the pride I feel towards members totally makes this journey one to be committed to.
This blog serves to remind me that Ali is as deserving of sublime as each of my darling and beautiful members I am honoured to meet.
Ali needs to remember she is human and to allow herself to be human! We don't expect her to be super human all the time she puts this on herself!! We love her to bits and would be happy to support her in any form at all she needs, because we are all human and all need to be nutured! Go you, we are here for you as much as you are there for us!
ReplyDeleteAli, I have a friend at LTM who is going thru the very same thing. She is avoiding the scales and has said she is not coming back just yet. It takes alot of guts to do what you are doing and I really admire you for putting it out there. You are an inspiration, You are human and I know You can do it! Go get em'!! I'll be here cheering for ya! Petra :)
ReplyDeleteAs an "off the wagon and getting back on" LTM I know how hard it is to get back to a meeting and get back on the scales but remember this, No one is judging you except yourself. Everyone there at the meeting is right behind you whoever you are and what ever the amount of weight you have to lose. We are all there because we recognise the need to have that support and to give support to others on their journey. Most of the anxieties and worries and negative feelings are in our own mind. Conquer those and you are on the road to success. "Plato:
ReplyDeleteThe first and the best victory is to conquer self."