From time to time, the mind runs rampant, flickering through all the elements that create our days, weeks and months, lives.
It would appear that for me, the time for such a moment, is upon me. Right this very moment.
Not entirely ideal, it is after all, 12.58am.
The last couple of months have served as a large reminder, that despite our best intentions, at times things do not go as we had forecast.
Several years ago, I published a magazine, encompassing the amazing talent in the holistic community in New Zealand, I jumped in, guns blazing, overly optimistic, not naive, but too trusting that the publication would be well supported, thus well funded.
Well supported it was!
Finding writers and people wanting to share their beliefs and benefit of life lessons was a cinch, everyone has a story, and experience that given a moment to share, will do so willingly.
Advertisers too came thick and fast, oh, yes, provided the cost was screwed right down to the bare bones.
The result, an amazing publication, that was professional, rich in text, knowledge, and advertising.
My faith in the advertisers and their willing to commit a nominal fee to the magazine however, was disappointed.
Seems to be a common kiwi trait, everyone wants the best for nothing, or as little as possible. A bargain.
Since that experience, I have learned a few things about being in business, and counting chickens. I prefer now days to be a little more circumspect.
As we all know though, even the best laid plans, can be hindered by unforeseen circumstances.
I've always believed in communication.
I could in fact be accused, and rightly so, for being a little bit too fond of communication. My dear friends, must get tired at times with the 5 page long text messages on their cell phones from me (I refuse to speak in textish!). Particularly during self perceived troublesome events, usually if I feel that my motives and intentions have been ill received, yes, I'm a bit of a brooder sometimes. HEY! I'm human too.
Communicate as I might though, obstacles have come in thick and fast since I engaged my cake and cupcake business in a "bargain deal" website mid last year.
Armed with a bit of experience, I took a leap of faith with my work, and decided to try out one of these "new" 24 hour discounted deal sites.
While I went in with my eyes wide open, I wasn't really prepared for what a sensational hit my products would be, caught up in the overwhelming hype of booming sales, when I received the call from my account manager, asking if I would be prepared to up the limit of units available, of course, I eagerly said yes.
Now, I'm not sure if it's my mind set that really creates these issues for me, drawing in the energy if you will. But I personally, do not believe that you get something for nothing. I do believe that in order to have the things we desire, we must first believe we are worth those things, and then we must work hard for them.
That crazy, hyped up, exciting deal, committed me to making, not just a few dozen, but just shy of 500 dozen cupcakes.
WOWZA.
That stinking hard work ethic and mindset bit me in the patootie right from the get go!
Now, I'm not sure if you are personally in business yourself, or you use these bargain sites as a consumer, I have to say, I'm no longer a fan.
In my opinion, the large population of these bargain sites sprouting up, and showering our inbox and cell phone with discounted services and deals, from unsuspecting small to medium sized operations, are doing more harm than good. Stripping down profit margins, and creating a large demand that in many cases can not be easily met, after the hype and excitement of the figurative ringing cash register has finished.
The breed of customer, is largely represented by the haggler, petty, quibbling, and often contentious mannered folk, trying to squeeze the last drop of blood, in the hopes of really getting more bang for their buck. In a selfish somewhat greedy fashion.
Of course this is a sweeping generalisation, and my dealings with many customers that have stemmed from my "deal" last year have been mixed, with a very rare few, actually buying a product, and being grateful and thankful for the opportunity to sample a portion of what my business had to offer and a special and "temporarily" discounted rate.
Sadly for the most part though, the customer base has been represented in the former, not the latter.
In a bit of a comedy of errors, I blundered my way through customers and little cakes, making friends, and black listing a few self confessed cupcake fanatics (psychopaths).
During this, my body giving up and forcing me into hospital was a highlight, although on my back, paralyzed with pain, a bonafide loss of strength and function on one side of my body, AND off my face and rotten sick with various pain killers, anti inflammatories and (anti-hope you don't get too backed upperers)...at least, AT LEAST! I got to have a day off from pushy, rude, ignorant folk, who wanted their bargain deal, outside of the perimeters of what they purchased. I wonder perhaps if the English language is a bit of a hard grasp for many online consumers?
Okay, I'll lay off my obvious dislike, for the internet bargain whores for now.
For the hard work though, there must be a pay off, a light at the end of the tunnel....some reward, for the at times painfully embarrassing, communication; For putting myself out there and not counting my chickens, and maybe allowing myself to get caught up in the excitement of success.
I've learned a lot more about myself, clearly I am not in love with the average, cheap kiwi.
Nor do I seem to be overly fussed on discounted sales and services for small business owners; who for all intentions, just want to "make it" in their field.
Honestly, who doesn't lust to be incredibly good at and recognised for what they do.
It's certainly in my own personal genetics, I'm sure of it.
Regardless, of perceived failure in the area at times, I am still a huge fan of being open and honest, and communicating to the best of my ability, however, this is certainly an area (as with all areas in my life) that I am eager and willing to learn more about.
I began writing this blog this morning, feeling somewhat defeated, after receiving an abrupt third party communication from an accounts department, to which my cupcake business is still in debt.
Yes, that is slightly awkward to admit, but let's be real here, there have been a few major issues, totally out of my hands to deal with. And certainly, while I can not put things back to February forever, for the time being my reality is ... no cake ... no $.
I'm ending this blog this evening, though, feeling a little more positive, the lack of finance and cash flow from my business, a luxury and indulgent item, was unavoidable, regardless of internet deals, or illness.
The climate in Christchurch has changed, and I am not the only small business who wasn't well enough equipped to deal with ongoing environmental challenges.
I have been incredibly successful in previous projects and I will excel again in the future. For now with strong communication and keeping people informed, of where things are at and where they are going, if nothing else, I can hold my head high and know I have done everything in my power to create continued forward momentum.
So with that, an epically long self reflection, I'll bid you farewell for now, but leave you with a challenge, yes, aimed at you bargain hunters....
Next time you want a bargain, go out and buy something, from an actual store, from an actual human being, who you know dug their car out of the snow, chances are it's the one parked right at the back of the parking lot, yes, the one with no rego, because the bill for the store was due the same week. Look them in the eye and say thank you, as you pass over the full amount for the purchase. When you leave the store, uncomplaining and unwavering in your support, you can pat yourself on the back, knowing that person now has enough money for the milk to go on their kiddies weetbix in the morning.
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